There is a very good chance none of this will make any sense or be especially profound considering the week I've had and how tired I am.


I have done a lot of apologizing lately for a lot of stupid things that I have done. I suppose that sometimes in my quest for perfection I sometimes trip up and do or say the wrong thing. When things like that happen I feel like I just set myself back about a million steps, even though it was one trip on my path forward. Lately all I have done, it seems to me, is hurt and upset one person who means very much to me. I'm not doing it on purpose I just keep messing up and it scares me and makes me think I am jeopardizing it all. I am trying to be a good gf, I'm just not sure if I am, seems all I do is mess up. I just want him to be happy, all of this is new to me, a boyfriend that actually cares about me and doesn't shove me around or try to hurt me on purpose. I wish he really knew what he means to me so he wouldn't think that I want this to end and that I don't wanna  be with him. If I had my way, I wouldn't ever let it end. There's something comforting about knowing that no one is going to read this, notice it, comment or care. I can be open and honest and say I've never fell for someone like this before. I want it to last.  

Yet another website to remember to log into and check and update! Haha we'll see how long this one lasts, I forgot all my log in info for my old LJ.